Picture the scene: my house is in disarray – not quite ‘post-party’ disarray, but lived in disarray. Everyday uncleanliness is normal after all.
But when you get a call or text from friends saying they’d love to stop by anytime, how do I fake a clean house? My mom is by no means a neat freak, but when this happens to her, she always does five specific things.
And of course, when I lived at home, I was expected to pitch in. So now I use these last minute decluttering and decluttering tips to help fake a ‘clean’ house of my own.
From hiding junk in closets to wiping down the entire house with all-purpose spray, these tips aren’t rocket science, but they work like a dream.
1. Nominate a litter hiding place in each room
(Image credit: Athena Calderone for Crate&Barrel)
Every home has junk, but not every home has junk hiding places. My mom, and now me, purposefully bought a coffee table with drawers for our living room, this is where we store the junk that usually builds up there. My mom calls it the ‘drive-by declutter’.
This includes everything from half-read magazines and the TV remote to cell phone chargers (guilty). Nothing stays in the drawer once the guests have left, so it never gets too full for emergency use next time.
I, like mom, repeated this idea in the entryway, with baskets for shoes, and a closet with a basket underneath where everything else can be thrown (temporarily), in the guest bath, with a vanity with drawer space, and in the kitchen, everything either goes into the dishwasher, where it was going anyway, or is wiped down in a kitchen sink full of soapy water.
Of course, guests never made it upstairs, so we left those rooms.
2. Open windows, strengthen those cane diffusers
(Image credit: Dan Duchars)
My mom said she picked it up from a home translator, who told her that opening windows for just 10 minutes can instantly freshen up an old room. My mom is always on the lookout for ways to make a house smell nice, and we always have a full supply of scented candles, and we’ll light one in each room.
My mom’s smartest trick, though, is shaking our reed diffusers, especially in the powder room. I find a house that smells nice looks cleaner than one that doesn’t.
3. Wipe down surfaces with a scented spray
(Image credit: Olive & Barr)
Our guests tend to spend most of their time in the kitchen. It’s just where we gather, so wiping down the surfaces, even if the sink is full, is a must-do. We both tend to use a scented, natural homemade cleaning spray for this job. It does the job well but, more importantly, doesn’t leave a chemical smell that will clash with our candles. It’s soft enough to use in the living room too, in case we get together there.
4. Put on a pot of coffee
(Image credit: De’Longhi)
We spend a lot of time testing the best coffee makers H&Gbut this tip predates my tenure here and is another tip my mother picked up from that householder: put a pot of coffee on and anyone who comes into the house will immediately feel welcome.
It’s a great way to mask any stale smells that an inhabited house has, and I find roasted coffee aromas pair beautifully with my orange scent diffusers.
5. Turn and fluff those pillows
(Image credit: Natalia Miyar / The Twenty Two)
If guests are going to sit on them, you want your couches and armchairs to look welcoming rather than like the dog slept on them for a week. My mom calls it the ‘flip and fluff’, which means quickly flipping all the pillows and cushions over and giving each one a quick bash as you go. It’s quick but effective.
