A New Year’s Prayer for an Average, Boring, Unremarkable 2022, by Stephanie Hayes

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Ah. Everyone will be quiet. Don’t buzz. Are you sure you want to wear such a noisy dress? Sequins are overrated. Put that noise blower down! Excuse me, is it a trumpet?

Everyone may be tempted to celebrate this year’s New Year’s Eve. Coronavirus variants are constantly imminent, but life is sneaking up towards something closer to normal. It’s refreshing.

But it’s my duty to remind me of what happened when people were optimistic last year. Within six days of 2021, violent rebels attacked the US Capitol, and Arnold Schwarzenegger had to take a sword and warn everyone. That’s in good shape. Our long-awaited summer was all about Delta, and I don’t mean airlines. We broke the supply chain, caused inflation, and obscured the proceedings to stop them. And above all, Gen Z said our jeans were ugly!

You don’t need a great year.And we true You don’t need another bad year. All you need is an average year.

For example, computer scientists once determined that April 11, 1954 was the most boring day in history, as it happened less often in the world. Alexandre Aberin, a Soviet cyclist born that day, is against it. Alternatively, you can see April 18, 1930, when the BBC announcer boldly said “no news” and played the piano for 15 minutes. Maybe we generally need to direct the energy of April.

Well then, the 2022 prayer is here.

Oh (enter your chosen god here) Infinite wisdom! Give us mediocrity this year! Bless us with a long, boring stretch! Listen to your next humble hope!

At 78% on the math test, the margins are “not the best, but not the worst.”

For a birthday in the Olive Garden with a slice of brownie lasagna loosely from the server.

On a beige sofa with dark beige pillows.

In the case of a tank top that says “Mom needs wine”.

I thought the 2012 Facebook photo with blurry road signs was interesting, but it’s not really interesting when you think about it later. Oh well.

For plain chicken breast with steamed broccoli sides on Monday.

For the record of the Pittsburgh Pirates.

It costs thousands of dollars for our kids to discover a fulfilling talent, but it doesn’t require a weekend trip or include ice skating.

Is it just a little

In the case of the movie “We Bought a Zoo”.

For Halloween costumes where your roommate just scrubs from the dental office.

A mural using Kirkland’s metal foil.

For used Toyota Yaris.

Enjoy a clean Holiday Inn Express with free bagels in the morning.

For two matching socks that can be placed within 8 minutes.

This is only once for the printer to work.

For violence, death, destruction, false information, and a break from human inhumanity towards humans.

For a nice, clear soup.

Stephanie Hayes is a columnist at the Tampa Bay Times in Florida. Follow her on Facebook @ stephhayeswrites, Twitter @ stephhayes, or Instagram @stephrhayes.

Photo courtesy of: Nennieinszweidrei on Aliexpress

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