You enter the room. You think it’s the kitchen. There is a sink. But it may be the bathroom.
No, I can’t find the toilet, so I’m sure it’s the kitchen. You can’t find anything else either. There doesn’t seem to be a cabinet, refrigerator, oven, or really appliances. It’s just a flat, mysterious, monochromatic surface with no clue as to what’s lurking inside.
Welcome to The Invisible Kitchen. This is a trend in modern kitchen design that eliminates all the visual evidence of a room’s kitchen feel. Everything is hidden behind the flat panel, which may or may not have handles. Appliances and other kitchen items are hidden or disguised behind more panels.
The hallmark of this style of kitchen is that it’s like a reverse whac-a-mole. If the first attempt finds what you need, the designer has failed. Unless you personally help design or own a kitchen (and have extensively studied the “map” of the kitchen), you spend half your life, where things are. Spend time trying to understand, explaining to guests where things are and how they work Cabinet doors hidden behind. It will be out of date within the first month of having a dinner party. That hosting is why we first wanted a home with the finest sophisticated and modern chef’s kitchen.
Hundreds of thousands of dollars are spent on minimalist kitchen designs such as unrecognizable refrigerators / freezers, mystery ovens, retractable stoves, pop-up extraction vents, built-in coffee makers, soda makers, and compost makers. The appliance is only revealed when the chef pushes, waves, says magic to Alexa, or makes any other mysterious movement or chanting that only he or she knows. Only the chef can see this kitchen, but it could be fixed in the next iteration of the trend.
The second feature of Peak Sleek Kitchen Design is that you need at least a PhD to operate the appliance. From ETH Zurich in electronics. At least in old-fashioned knob-based appliances, you could understand them with a few minutes of careful study, usually with a button labeled “Power.” Today, appliances are dead in black blocks of shiny plastic, like the monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey. They are laser, voice, or touch activated. I think some appliances have been developed to accommodate the side eye. This is all great unless, like me, you can’t see it from these devices. Oh, hey, it’s one of the modern faucets without hot and cold handles, as I can’t see it, except for me, just by passing my hand under the spigot to sense your water desire. Also, I am very thirsty.
The good news is that once you find the appliance and understand how to turn it on, the fun really begins! In this ultra-modern chef’s kitchen, appliance time, temperature, function, and portion size controls have been replaced by alien language and emoji. All you have to do now is understand whether to roast your turkey with “irony”, “tears of joy”, or “symbol of pi”.
Share your thoughts
What do you think of the invisible kitchen trends: Fab Design or Peak Dam? Join the conversation below.
With the withdrawal and reproduction of all this automatic magic of the appliance with foot trigger laser panel, voice activation and emoji control, it’s only a matter of time before one of them becomes fraudulent, like the kitchen-based HAL 9000. On Fluffy’s tennis ball roll kitchen, and on the foot sensor in the bottom drawer powered by a laser beam. Four hours later, the traumatized fluffy was rescued from the drawer by someone looking for a Brita water purifier. That could have been worse. Most people never change the water filter.
Sure, the old dishwasher may not be the pinnacle of clean design, but it’s heard by a voice control assistant at home.
Some people are attracted to the latest and greatest design trends. The entire industry is built on their urge to stay on the cutting edge of design. But what’s the point of the kitchen that looks like it’s empty? When does sophisticated design become a waste of time and meaningless design? How much do you hate the usual wreckage of human presence, do you need a kitchen that looks like the interior of an empty closet with Murano’s pendant lighting?
I stick to the peak clutter design: there’s a kitchen that doesn’t send me to escape room style food hunting, an appliance with control knobs and buttons with numbers and words, and I hide from me or I Refuses to acknowledge the existence of. I’m thirsty.
Write to Kris Frieswick at [email protected]
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